Desert Ministries Blog

"The Invisible"

2010-06-17T12:30:00.000-05:00

Some years ago, Mother Theresa commented on nursing homes, during one of her visits to the United States. She said:

“I can never forget the experience I had in visiting a home where they kept all these old parents of sons and daughters who had just put them into an institution and forgotten them - maybe. I saw that in that home these old people had everything - good food, comfortable place, television, everything, but everyone was looking toward the door. And I did not see a single one with a smile on the face. I turned to Sister and I asked: "Why do these people who have every comfort here, why are they all looking toward the door? Why are they not smiling?"

I am so used to seeing the smiles on our people, even the dying ones smile. And Sister said: "This is the way it is nearly every day. They are expecting, they are hoping that a son or daughter will come to visit them. They are hurt because they are forgotten." And see, this neglect to love brings spiritual poverty. Maybe in our own family we have somebody who is feeling lonely, who is feeling sick, who is feeling worried. Are we there? Are we willing to give until it hurts in order to be with our families, or do we put our own interests first? These are the questions we must ask ourselves, especially as we begin this year of the family. We must remember that love begins at home and we must also remember that 'the future of humanity passes through the family.'

Love begins by taking care of the closest ones - the ones at home. Let us ask ourselves if we are aware that maybe our husband, our wife, our children, or our parents live isolated from others, do not feel loved enough, even though they may live with us. Do we realize this? Where are the old people today? They are in nursing homes (if there are any). Why? Because they are not wanted, because they are too much trouble, because.....Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.”

For someone who lived in poverty up to her neck, amazingly, Mother Theresa with all of her experiences with the dying, and the very poorest of the poor subjugates the pain of hunger to the pain of being rejected. All of us at one time or another have felt that pain. In Desert Ministries we experience that rejection every day. For when you identify yourself, your organization with the rejected, you then are rejected.

Everyday we are confronted by the images of people oppressed on every continent of the globe, yet what do not see every day is that same cruelty inflicted on the frail seniors living in institutions across the United States.

We do not see their pictures in the news when they are hurt, unless of course it is so blatant that it cannot be ignored. We do not know their names, and we do not want to know. The outcry for our killed in action is justified, yet where is the outcry for the 6,000 or more frail elderly who will perish this year alone, at the hands of a careless or neglectful staff worker, not to mention the 6,000 that died last year, and the 6,000 that will die next year. The numbers are well underestimated, and staggering, yet where is the outcry.

The frail elderly are “invisible” to us, or so we convince ourselves that they are. For the moment, we may have deluded ourselves into thinking we have got away with this charade, but one day our thin rhetoric will be exposed. In that day the delusions will end.

Even more remarkable than that ending is the ending we will all experience here. At some point in the not to distant future, you too will become deemed invisible. You, too, will experience the pain of being judged incompetent, useless, a burden on society, a burden to your family, and relegated to a devalued life full of loneliness. Why is that remarkable, because we don’t believe that will happen to us. We believe that somehow we will escape, but the reality is far different, there is no escape.

Let those that have ears hear. The good news is that Desert Ministries’ volunteers hear. Their changed lives reflect the power of daring to minister to a widow. Unexpectedly, they have discovered truth not revealed in literature, but in experience, and in relationship. Most sublime, the widow, dips into her remaining resources to feed her naïve companion. The result is, refreshment, serenity, hope, love, the knowledge that today, I met Jesus face to face.

"Friendship in the Margins" Great Read!

2010-04-21T15:30:00.000-05:00

Greetings all!

Friendship at the Margins is a must read. Chris Heuertz, executive director, Word Made Flesh, and co-author Chris Pohl, challenges us to move away from objectifing people, they are not our “cause,” they are our “friends.” I appreciate their boldness. My experience has been that far too often we go into a situation to “save” people. Once “saved” we then move on to the next ”target.” At DM, it may sound odd, but part of our training includes discussion about the ministry of presence.

People don’t need to be “saved,” they need a friend, someone who will not come in for a few minutes, but instead move in, live with, eat with, and walk with them. This is particularly true of the frail institutionalized elder for who dignity, value, and self-worth, are mow distant memories. For the most part they have lost control of their lives, and their bowels.

Imagine one day being a successful professional and the next day someone cleaning you up. No dignity today. Self-esteem, forgotton. Our walk is not easy but it is fulfilling. Heuretz and Pohl then remind us that it is Jesus who we meet in the process. The frail institutionalized elder leads us straight to him.

I can attest that as over the years, more than a few times I walked away from a nursing home at the end of a long day, thinking that I was pretty certain that the women who just spoke to me, was indeed him incarnate.
Thank Chris and Chris, (if I may), for great insight!

April is a pivotal month...

2010-03-31T17:29:00.000-05:00

Everyday I wake up, God and I have a chat about DM and it's future. This year is not worse than last year, but it's not better. Last year it seemed like many times we weren't going to make it, but shear tenacity, mixed with a little insanity, and I'm still on the job. It's a tough walk, but at the same time, knowing whats going on inside many nursing homes keeps me coming back. There is just no way I'm going to walk away from this ministry without a fight.

One of my great encouragements is the addition of Andrew Dungan to our staff. His passion, his willingness to fight right alongside with me, gives me great hope about our future. Based on what we're seeing in our "crystal ball" the need for community involvment, and in particular the faith-community is critical to the quality of care our frail elderly receive.

And right with Andrew and I is Aby Zuniga, who has taken our newsletters to another level, not to mention helping us build our Hispanic volunteer contingency. On both counts, it is a great encouragement to me.

Programmatically, we are "rockin' and rollin." We are building bridges to many communities in Omaha, most recently to St. Peter Claver Cristo Rey High School. Today they brought 30 students to St. Joseph Tower, and St. Joseph Villa for orientation to longterm care, an opportunity to be with the residents. This is a hand-in-glove fit for both the student and the resident. We're looking for great things to come of this new relationship.

But, can we keep the lights on, the phone on, and the website up? Keeping this effort funded is no small chore. We're launching a grassroots fundraising effort which you can see here:

http://www.desertministries.org/howyoucanhelp/donationformwithplaybook.htm

One of my more often used quotes comes from Albert Einstein: "The key to success? Don't quit."

Our campaign: "You Gotta Stay in the Game," speaks right to this. We can't quit, even if times are hard. We have to press ahead. We are. The next 30 days will really tell the story about how and if DM will survive. We, that is Andrew, Aby and I are emailing, calling, and doing whatever we can to keep this work alive.

My hope, and prayer is that many people will step up to the plate. When, Jenni Vancleave, activities director at Good Samaritan Society-Millard heard we might have to close our doors, she emailed me and said, "Your volunteers and your work mean to much to us for you to close. We are going to have a bake sale!"

They raised $142 and some change. To me, this was a precious gift, really the "widows" mite.

There are a lot of great and good people in Omaha. I've had the privilege of meeting many of them. I'm hoping that in the next 30 days, they will roll up their sleeves and do what they can to make sure that we can keep our doors open, and most importantly, keep sending our volunteers to nursing homes.

For years, I've talked about the coming crisis in longterm care, well it's here raring its ugly head. In the midst of the storm are thousands of frail elderly who have little or no say in what happens to them. It's a tradegy. I can't do much about poor payscales, inadequate funding, or incompentency, but I can put out the call for good men and women to get involved.

I need to write a book! Maybe I will!

Will You Be My Valentine!

2010-02-14T09:43:00.000-06:00

Today, thousands of people living in nursing homes and assisted living facilities will be receiving Valentines from Desert Ministries volunteers! A simple gesture that says: "Someone cares about you," goes along way in alleviating depression, loneliness, and feelings of uselessness.

A very big thankyou to KGBI, Hy-Vee and all of the great people and organizations that made and donated Valentines, numbering well over 5,000!

Yesterday, a great group of people spent the day sorting them and preparing them for delivery today. Everyone living in a nursing home or assisted living in the Omaha/Council Bluffs area will get a Valentine!

We'll be posting pictures and emails from the volunteers later today or tomorrow.

We C.A.R.E.

2009-10-12T09:35:00.000-05:00

Each year, our board members and staff get together for a day-long retreat. In addition to some good fellowship and getting out of the city, we take a close look at our organization, evaluating our programs, and reviewing our mission, vision, and core values statements.

This year, we focused our energies on our evaluating our core values and I think we really honed in on those values that make Desert Ministries what it is: a conduit for service, and an advocate for senior quality care. After several hours of filling the walls with flip chart notes, and energized dialogue, we distilled our thoughts to these four core values:

Community – we are a diverse and intergenerational community, unified by our faith in God, committed to the protection of and service to our elderly.

Action – we are who we are, because of our elders; we must protect who they are.

Relationship – with joy and compassion, we establish relationship with our elderly, showing them respect, honor and acceptance, giving them the dignity they deserve by listening and caring.

Elderly – we value our elderly by honoring their history, wisdom, and joy. We gratefully accept their values and traditions as the foundation upon which we build our lives.

I cannot overstate the impact of working with older adults has had on my sense of well-being, my fulfillment, and hope. In each of these words, community, action, relationship, and elderly, I have story after story of how an older person has helped me to think and sometimes rethink each of these words.

Our community is not just one group or another, it’s not just this age group or that age group, it’s “us.” Community is all of “us,” regardless of age, and we need to take care of “us.” No one should be alone. One of my favorite portions of scripture: “God places the lonely in families;…” from Psalm 68:6 shows us the importance of communities supporting their elders. Even though biological families may be separated by distance, we can still be family for one another. No one should have to live their final years, alone.

It’s not enough just to “know” there is a need. It is incumbent on each of “us” as members of our communities to act and react to the needs of the older adults living in our neighborhoods, and in long-term care facilities, particularly those living in skilled nursing homes. They of all groups tend to be forgotten. We cannot simply say that the challenge is too large, or the solutions are too complex, or unattainable. We must take steps, even if they seem small. We must see that our frail elderly are well cared for. Actually, I don’t believe there is such a thing as a small step. Any step can have large ripple effects. Recruiting, and training people to visit people in nursing homes is one of the steps we are taking every day in Desert Ministries. While each volunteer, singularly, may feel inadequate, together they are positive force within the long-term care community and in their communities. Feedback from care staff and the nursing home residents tell us this, and feedback from persons in our community tell us that the ripple effects of our “small” steps are causing the ground to shake.

No one should be alone. We are built to be with “others.” Removing “us” from “others,” can lead to depression, suicide, neglect, abuse, and even physical problems like dementia. The absence or the withholding of relationship has dire effects. It is costly as well. I know anecdotally that some part of depression can be relieved through a caring visit from a volunteer. One resident when asked if the volunteer visit was something she looked forward to, she said, “It’s not family, but it’s not bad for someone off the street.” All to often, we turn to medications to address depression when, I believe, many times a simple “I was thinking about you today,” would go a long way towards their healing process. On another occasion a resident remarked after one of my visits: “They think we need this, [holding up a handful of pills] but what you just gave us[relationship] is what we really need.”

The elderly, who are they? What do they want? What do they need? Now approaching the age of 56, I am discovering that I am still for the most part, “me.” The outside of “me,” may have changed but the interior, “me,” well, it still seems to believe that it hasn’t changed all that much. That “me” is still a young man with hopes and dreams, but admittedly a few more life experiences. Nevertheless, I don’t feel “old.” I feel alive, and ready to participate in my community. I think most older people would also tell you that they feel this way. Our elders need to be offered opportunities, and invited, to stay in the game. In that process, of spending time with them, we learn from their life experiences. I’ve even had the experience of them becoming my cheerleader. “Hey, I made it! So can you!” They can be our confidant, our mentor, or a good friend.

Our core values: Community, Action, Relationship,& Elderly, (CARE). We do care, and I believe most people care. Let me invite you, if you are not already a part of our community, to consider doing something that will bring you great fulfillment and a sense of making a real difference by giving your treasure or your time to this outreach, and to the people we serve, our elderly. Visit our website to learn how you can show that you care too.

What is the ROI for senior care?

2009-09-25T13:37:00.000-05:00

Ok, so we're spending billions and billions and billions of our dollars on long-term care for older adults, senior citizens, frail elderly, old people, widows, widowers, the forgotten, has-been's, grandmothers, grandfathers, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, neighbors, & eventually "me." Why?

It is such a waste of money. We should do what the Spartans did. If you get sick, then the next stop is the landfill for you. It's a lot cheaper, and a lot less messy. All this touchy feelly stuff about wisdom and transferring values is for the birds. What we need is a nice, clean system for getting rid of frail people, a let the healthy people have more money in their pocket.

So where should we draw the line on who lives and who does not get to live. Nowhere. You don't like the color of your baby's eyes? Get rid of it. You're mother is costing you too much? Get rid of her. There's plenty of people around to take their place.

Two things: 1. It's sad to think how many people think this way. 2. It's sad to think you read this and went back to your televison.

Why Care for the Elderly?

2009-07-16T14:19:00.000-05:00

In the next few months, our healthcare system will change. How it will change remains to be seen, but I am certain that the frail elderly of our society will take a back seat to everyone else. As far as I can tell from history, this is nothing new.

Yet, we wonder how so many of our nation's children get into serious trouble. Could it be that the very people, who, after a lifetime of experiences, and education are dismissed as having no value.

We need to care for the frail elderly in order that during the caring process they have the opportunity to transfer a lifetime of accumulated wisdom to us.

An African proverb comes to my mind: "When an older person dies, a library burns down."

How many libraries will be abandoned and even lost today?

"Your walking becomes ambulation..."

2009-07-08T08:51:00.000-05:00

I'm reading "Gray Areas: ethnographic encounters with nursing home culture." The book is a collection of articles written by various experts, and edited by Philip B. Stafford.
-
Just getting through the introduction of this book is difficult. Immediately, I think of all the people I've met over the years living and working in the long-term care system, and for the most part good and caring people. Yet they along with the elderly they care for, must endure a system that is neither good nor caring. In fact, the system is notorious for transforming good people with passion into disallusioned workers who leave the profession. Burnout is common among the staff. Turnover rates can reach 300%, even among management the turnover rate can reach 80%. The front door to the nursing home is a revolving door. One third of the 17,000 facilities in the U.S. have been cited for abuse, neglect, and other actions that led to the premature death of the people under their "care."
-
If that isn't enough, fraudent claims for services that never happened or are exaggerated, cost the taxpayer somewhere in the neighborhood of $20 billion every year. That's a lot of money. Lawsuits are common, that is family members suing for negligence or wrongful death. In fact, one large nursing home chain, owning some 1,500 facilities, had so many lawsuits against them they had to change the name of the chain just to insulate themselves against all the bad publicity. And that's another trend, it's becoming increasingly difficult to know who even owns the facilities.
-
But for me, the worst of all of these crimes is that the older person, who has managed to survive into old age, is not respected nor revered, instead they are robbed of their personhood. The title of this blog comes from Gray Areas, the Introduction on page 12. In it, Stafford writes:
-

"When you enter the nursing home as a patient, you experience a loss of self, of personhood. Your walking becomes "ambulation." Your food becomes your "diet." Your eccentricities become your "behaviors."

Your life becomes your "record."

Of all the aspects of this system, that one can critque, I believe this is the worst of them all. Why? Because, many of the people living in nursing homes are survivors, great people who have endured life's trials. They perservered. They didn't quit. They worked hard all their life, getting educated, marrying, having and raising children, making major contributions to our society, only to move into the final stage of their life to be reduced to something less than human, to be stripped of their identity and forced into a "purgatory," suspended between the living and the dying. Is it any wonder that many of them will say to me, "I wish I would just die."

Growing old in America, can mean having to learn how to live in this world of "suspended animation." Our ageism, deeply embedded in every corner of our culture, perpetuates this system. Ageism is in our workplace, in our entertainment, in our families, and even in our worship. As a society, we are blind to it. Like other forms of prejudice, our blindness results in the wrongful death of many valuable people, and in this case, the premature death, of literally thousands of older people living in nursing homes.

So what can or should we do? The first step is simply to admit that we are blind. Then we need to begin the task of finding ways to correct our vision, our thinking. I believe one of the best places to start is in our faith communities. Does your programming reflect ageism? Is your community segregated by age? Do segregated groups ever mix? Does your programming promote intergenerational contact? Exposure to one another is the most powerful way to break down false stereotypes, untrue myths, and provide the catalyst for change.

If we don't address this bastion of "hate crimes," and that is exactly what they are, wrongful acts based in the hatred of our elderly, then the ground will remain drenched with the blood older people. I think we can do better.

I quote Isaiah 1:17 often:

"Learn to do well, seek justice, relieve the oppressed, defend the fatherless and plead for the widow."

Let me encourage you this week to carefully read, and meditate on Isaiah 1:11-29.

"Remember Me"

2009-05-20T10:25:00.000-05:00

This weekend coming is Memorial Day, and I hope that all of my readers will have a great holiday, and stop for a few moments to remember and honor the men and women who gave their lives defending our way of life and keeping us safe.

I was thinking about what to write today, and the words, "...remember me," came to my mind. Some time ago, I was invited to speak to a group of pre-school children about the work that Desert Ministries is engaged in. Well, how do I explain all this to someone so young?

As I looked across the room at all the young bright-eyed, smiling faces, I asked them, "How many of you were brought to school today by your parents? A majority of those tiny hands went up almost immediately.

Then I asked them, "Has your mother or father ever forgotten to pick you up from school?" Again, quite a few hands went up. I asked, "How did you feel about that?" One girl spoke up and said, "Scared!" Another child piped up and said, "Afraid!" And yet another piped up and said, "Alone!" These responses led to an avalanche of responses from the rest of the children. Each one identifying with the terrifying fear, the feelings of being vulnerable, and the feelings of fear when one is forgotten.

Once the children quieted, I looked at them, and the adults who were standing in the back of the room, and quietly said, "That's exactly how someone feels who lives in a nursing home."

Remember them.

April Showers Bring May Flowers...

2009-04-01T13:49:00.000-05:00

Ok, what can I say? I've been saying that little rhyme for years, and I couldn't resist it. But as I as stop to think about it for a moment, I hope that May is full of flowers. We need to look at something lovely. It will help distract me for just a few minutes and soften the very deep concern I have and sadness I feel for what is happening inside our nursing homes.

It used to be that once in a while I would hear a story about an older person being neglected or receiving poor care. Lately, it seems like a daily event. For years, I've known and have talked publically about the decline of our long-term care system, but I believe now that what may have been interpreted by some as "nay-saying" is now an horrific reality.

It's well known that much of the funding for long-term care comes from Medicaid. In our current economic crisis, funding for Medicaid is receiving increasing scrutiny, as it should, since some 20-30 billion dollars of fraudulent Medicaid claims. This of course needs to be cleaned up. However, skyrocketing costs will probably lead to capping benefits, and/or restricting benefits. We simply cannot collect enough tax money to pay for all the long-term care that will be required.

Compounding the funding issue is the staffing issue. Staff shortages are severe and getting worse. I've seen projections for staffing shortages reaching as high as 29% over the next three decades. Currently, we are experiencing about a 9% shortage. Translated: there are about 125,000 nursing positions open.

What does this mean for the vulnerable old person who needs nursing care? At best, it is a dismal picture. Poor care, as a result of neglect,and sadly abuse is not the exception any longer. On the other side of the coin though and in fairness to the people who are working in nursing homes, nursing home workers are doing the best they can under difficult circumstances.

The average rate of pay for a nursing aide, the person who is on the frontlines, i.e., bathing, bathrooming, feeding, grooming, dressing, people, is $8.50 per hour. Jobs at fast food places pay more than that. The reimbursement rate on Medicaid invoices is 60 cents on the dollar. Translated: A nursing home loses about $15 per bed per day. If I have 100 beds in my nursing home, that's $1,500 I will lose each day. Oh, I can't forget to mention the 300% turnover rate. All of this adds up to disaster.

I've seen firsthand, great people, great workers with great work ethics, great attitudes, caring loving people, burned out after 18 months of working in a nursing home, and then like the majority of their co-workers, quit, leaving behind the frail elder who has little or no say in what is happening to them. Imagine how frightening that must be for them.

Once, during a major exodus of nursing home workers, I heard a old woman look up into the face of aide and ask: "Are you leaving too?"

Well, if I stare into this "picture" too long, I get depressed. So I need to take a periodic break and find something nice to think about, something lovely like a field of newly blossomed flowers. I really do hope for all our sakes that April showers will bring May flowers, especially to people living and working in nursing homes.

People who have seen thier "better days."

2009-03-11T10:09:00.000-05:00

There's nothing more disconcerting than turning on the radio on the way home and listening to someone rationalizing for their listeners reasons for not providing health care for people and I quote: "...who have seen their better days." The rationalization is that, as one would expect, the money would be better spent on children.

More distressing is, once the program host shared this profound wisdom, the number of listeners who called in and agreed. The tension between providing for children versus providing for older adults is nothing new in human history. Let me suggest that this conflict is not one of capacity to provide, but one of will. Watching the government print trillions of dollars and extending bailout money to banks and corporations shows that if we, as society have the will to do something, we will do it.

The issue then is not do we have enough money. The issue is do we have enough heart to care not only for children, but for older adults as well. We owe our older population a debt of gratitude for providing for our home, our education, and our quality of life.

Theologically speaking, the Ten Commandents address the care of our parents. The first four commandments instruct us in how we are to relate to God. The next five commandments instruct us on how we are to relate to each other.

Starting the second group of commandments,is the commandment to "...honor our father and mother:"

"Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee." Deutronomy 5:16.

When I hear pronouncements like the one I referenced in this blog, I can understand why God would highlight the care of parents. When we prioritize need for support, the elderly will naturally fall to the bottom of the list. Why? Because we can see no apparent return on our investment, (ROI).

Knowing how we think, God then places this commandment first in the series of how we relate to one another, and different from the other commandments, God adds two promises, and if I may paraphrase: "Take care of your mother and father, and if you do, I will make sure you have a long and prosperous life, and not only for you, but for the nation in which you live.

Of course, some people will think that this is simplistic, but I do not. I think it is this simple. I believe if we made the care of our older adults a top priority, many, if not all, of our social ills would vanish. Why? Because, first it would force a change in our own thinking, and God would indeed fulfill His promise to us.

However, reading the history of the treatment of older adults does not leave me optimistic. But you never know, we might actually be the first society in history to take God at His word. As for those people who are described as "...having seen their better days," you know well that you are living in your best days now.

What do these kids know anyway?

Off to a great start!

2009-01-05T21:05:00.000-06:00

It looks like we're off to a great start in 2009. First, I want to thank our supporters who have kept this ministry going and growing for nearly 17 years. Some of you have been with us from the very beginning, August 1992. You really are the best. Because of your generous and committed support we have been able to touch the lives of thousands of elderly people living in nursing homes and assisted living communities.

"Christmas In Our Hearts" our annual Christmas concert was just spectacular. Again, we have some incredible people who underwrite that event, making it possible for hundreds of elderly people to attend. My hat is off to all the volunteers who worked very hard to make that concert a success. Be sure to mark your calendars now for the first Thursday in December 2009, December 3, 2009.

I am very excited about the fact that it appears that many of the University of Nebraska at Omaha athletes will be visiting nursing homes and assisted living communities this year. With the great help of Lyn Holley, PhD, Gerontology Department, UNO, and the UNO Athletic Department, it looks like all the teams will be encouraged to adopt a facility, and visit the residents and possibly bring those that are able to their games.

It's always been my pipe dream that one day, activities directors would start calling me telling that they have too many volunteers and please stop sending so many! Maybe 2009 could be that year.

In the meantime, Ruth McGrath our volunteer coordinator is gearing up for another great year. Last year, she started 24 new volunteers taking our volunteer force over 150 volunteers visiting care facilities. She'll be working with several Omaha churches as well to include Dundee Presbyterian, Thanksgiving Lutheran, Kingsway Christian, Emmanuel Fellowship, to name a few.

If you feel like you are being drawn to volunteer, contact Ruth and she will get you started. It is a great way to get involved in your community, make a real difference in the life of an older person, and make a real difference in your life too!

December 20, 2008 was the last live Radio Hour broadcast. After 12 years of continuous programming, I am sad to let radio go. I loved doing it, and it is a great way to reach a lot of people. But this year, I am going to take that 60 minutes and break it up into 60 soundbites across the week.

In addition, I am going to be developing and expanding our website that will include behind the scenes podcasts that will be available to you 24/7. I will invite our volunteers, friends, boardmenbers, and experts to join me weekly to talk about the role of the church in the long-term care community, how families can avoid the chaos of trying to find a nursing home during a crisis, and a host of other topics as well. My favorite of course is inviting our volunteers to share their stories. They are always remarkable.

That's it for today. Someone told me I should write a book. This probably would not be the place to do that. Now, go to the Donate page make a large contribution , thanks and I'll see you later.

Blessings,,

"Bailout?"

2008-12-10T14:06:00.000-06:00

At this time of year, I'm tempted to take the month of December off, (but of course I won't, but I am tempted). From now until December 24th or so, our nursing homes will be filled with singers, dancers, musicians, great desserts, and all sorts of activities. The nursing home residents will enjoy tidal waves of volunteers and visitors from all corners of our society from the early morning hours continuing late into the evening.

By December 24th, most of the nursing home residents will have all six verses of "The First Noel" memorized, they will be able to recite the story of "Silent Night," without giving it a second thought, and their blood sugars will have reached new highs.

Now don't get me wrong, all of this activity is great, really great in fact. I'm glad people are out visiting the nursing homes, and like me, some of them may end up working in the field of gerontology, starting their own volunteer organizations, and so on. But, most of them probably will not. My chore these days is to get them to come back in January, when the nursing homes will be like ghost towns.

Feeling alone is painful, and it has been proven to be bad for your health. Only half of nursing home residents get visitors from anyone, and that is probably a conservative estimate. One resident told me, "I have a lot of staff around me, but there is no one here just for me." Staff do not have time to sit down and visit with residents. Care staff hit the ground running at the beginning of their shift continuing to run right through lunch right up to the end of their shift: bathing, grooming, bathrooming, giving meds, and so on.

In the midst of all the staff flurry, the nursing home resident ends up sitting alone, and eventually they shut down, (die, failure to thrive). Incident rates of Alzheimers's disease, and clincal depression are linked to loneliness. Loneliness kills people. All sorts of people have their handouts these day, bail outs they call them. The nursing home residents need a bailout too, except their bailout is not measured in dollars and cents, it's measured in time spent with a "friend." The nursing home resident that gets visitors gets better care.

This year, I'm asking for a bail out too. I'm asking Santa to bring us more volunteers this year for Christmas, and I'm asking him to see what he can do about getting them to come back in January too.

"Hey, it's my month!"

2008-05-01T15:46:00.000-05:00

May is "Older American's Month." I guess now that I am 54 years old, that makes me an older American or maybe I have to wait to turn 65. I'm not actually sure. Maybe it's the people who are turning 70 this year, maybe May is their month. Of course, if you are only in the third grade this year, maybe it's the sixth graders, maybe they are the older Americans. Then there are the college students and to a third grader they are really old.

Wait! I know who the older people are. They are the graduate students in the gerontology department at college. They are really-really old.

Ok, enough. The number associated with our age is so misleading. After all it's just a number. Pick a number, any number. How about 40. What does that tell you? Well for sure, it means that this person has been on the earth long enough to have circumnavigated the sun 40 times. I think that is the only fact, that I can tell you about that person. The rest would probably be conjecture based on a stereotype of what I think a 40 year-old person might be.

How about 75? When I say I know someone who is 75, what do you think? What do you imagine? Is it someone with wrinkly skin, barely standing under their own weight? Is it someone running a marathon? It's just a number.

The face of aging is changing and will continue to change over the next three decades or so. Person's of the Baby Boom generation will change it. People at 60 will be starting new careers. 75 year olds will be climbing mountains, writing novels, and a whole host of other activities.

Finally, from God's perspective there isn't really that much difference between 9 and 90. Afterall, how old is God? The real age of a person isn't measured in years, so much as it is measured in attitude. I know 30 year-olds who act like their 106, and I know a 106 year old who is going on 30.

So, May is "Older American's Month." Who are these older American's? It looks like maybe it's not just for me, maybe it's for us - all of us, 9 or 90.

"Who Are You Waiting For?

2007-12-02T12:28:00.000-06:00

The Christmas season includes a lot of anticipation. We anticipate of course gifts we need to buy, gifts we would love to receive, visits to and from family and friends, Christmas parties and even the arrival of the Messiah. But for many of our elderly living in nursing homes, anticipation is a lost word. For many of them, statiscally about one-half of them will not receive a visitor from anyone, nor will they receive a gift. For many of them, Christmas is just another day. At Christmas we should stop to remember who are elderly really are. They are our mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, and even old friends. They are the people that conceived us, fed and clothed us, protected us, went to war for us, sacrificed for us, made sure we had plenty for Christmas, they played with us, taught us, mentored us, and loved us. They gave us hope.

Now, for many of them they lanquish, forgotten, and alone. What do you anticipate for this Christmas season? Who are you waiting for? The elderly living in nursing homes are waiting too, but sadly many of them have given up. They have lost hope. It's not hard to lift someone out of hopelessness. A simple gift bought, wrapped and taken to a nursing home can make someone's Christmas full of hope. A few caring minutes and you can change someone's life.

I have yet, in the 16 years of this ministry to leave a nursing home feeling nothing less than the euphoria that comes with knowing you did a good thing, knowing that you made someone's day, and experiencing a very deep satisfaction.

You take my advice, look in the yellow pages of your telephone book, under "nursing homes." Call one that is near you. Ask for the activities director, and then tell them that you have purchased some gifts for a man or a woman who might need a "Santa" this Christmas, and when would be a good time to stop by and visit with someone.

Then check out our gift basket ideas and put together a gift basket. It doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate, just something you make from your heart. The person you give that gift to will know what you are trying to do and they will love you for it.

So, what are you waiting for? Christmas is coming! Have a very Merry Christmas!

She was going to die anyway...

2007-10-07T18:38:00.000-05:00

That is exactly how we think about elder abuse. Animal abuse, child abuse, and elder abuse, are three concepts that boggle my mind. We live in the most technologically advanced society in human history. We can travel to any part of the world. We have mapped every square inch of the Mother Earth. We are sending unmanned space vehicles to explore planets in our solar system and beyond. Through genetic engineering we can identify root sources of disabilities, i.e., diabetes, hearing loss, and so on. We can build machines so small that they can only be seen with sophisticated microscopes. We boast of our advances in any number of educational and scientific areas. But when it comes to commenting on an elder being force fed, who then dies as a result, someone thoughtfully replied, "Well she was going to die anyway."

My comment: In some areas we truly have made great advances, in other areas, well... we have a very long way to go.

"Where Have All the Nurses Gone?"

2007-08-18T18:06:00.000-05:00

Over 100,000 nursing positions are vacant in America. Why? Nursing homes are at the bottom of the food chain and suffer the most from this severe shortage of nurses. Over the next 20 years that shortage will grow to over 800,000 positions. Why?

Grateful...

2007-07-25T21:39:00.000-05:00

Every day I thank God for the people who use both their time and/or treasure to stand with me in the battle for our frail elderly. Never before in recorded history has there been such slaughter of the very young and the very old.

People of the "baby boom" generation would be prudent to anticipate a future in which they very well may face euthanasia as their end, not for someone else but for them personally.

Funding for elderly programs are being slashed. Attrition rates among professional caregivers, i.e, doctors and nurses specializing in the care of elders is unprecendented. Many nursing homes struggle just to meet the very basic needs of the people under their care, and the turnover rates among staff reach 300%. Imagine the profitablility of your business turning your staff over three times this year!

As people of faith, now is time to critcally evaluate church programming and ask if it reflects God's heart or the utilitarian thinking of our youth idolizing culture. Churches that market to youth do so with the sincere belief that they are ensuring their continued future. However; rather than ensuring their future they have cut themselves off from any future. Unwittingly this belief system leads to an endorsement of a secular consumerism that teaches all generations that our value and our capacity to make meaninful contributions to the group decreases with age. The ultimate conclusion is that we then have aligned ourselves with groups who endorse physician assisted suicide (PAS) and euthanasia.

The future lay not in our youth but in our elders. The older person carries is walking library of full of information, education, and experience culminating in what we call "wisdom." We of the younger generations need to have access to those libraries. Those libraries are built on strong foundations of traditions and values. Rather than being demoted and excused from our circles they must transfer that libragy before they pass away.

Numerous studies show that contributions and church involvement are waning. Why? Those values and traditions have not been successfully transferred. Generational segregation leads to the demise of future generations.

"Remember the days of old, consider the years of many generations: ask thy father, and he will shew thee; thy elders, and they will tell thee." Deuteronomy 32:7 KJV.

For the younger generations we must "...remember...consider...[and]...ask..." For our elders they must, "...remember...consider...shew...[and]...tell..."

The current dilemna we face is that those traditions and values not transferred are lost in a generation that was successfully taught, and is now convinced that they have no meaningful role in the day-to-day life of the congregation. Instead, they believe thier purpose is to "get out of the way." The role of the elder is to take "bus tours" and attend "luncheons."

So what can we do?

First, we need to de-emphasize age segregrated events and promote intergenerational contact. Forget, the youth group vs. the "old timers" group vs the "middle aged" group and so on. We would never ever consider segregating a congregation by race or ethnicity. Why do we think that segregrating the congregation by age, (ageism) is any less wrong or deadly for that matter? Develop programming that encourages people of all ages to mix and "bump" shoulders.

Second, design corporate worship services that embrace all generations. Of course, I am well aware of the "lightning rod" called worship. I have served on worship committees and nothing is more divisive than determining worship styles and music. Everyone knows the "right" way to worship, it's "my way." Regardless, we must be courageous. If we cowar and refuse to move away from ageist worship other intergenerational efforts will falter. When the "sacred cow" is laid to rest, the people will know ageism is a matter to take seriously.

That's it... well one more thing... Esteem your elders with the same energy you esteem youth. Teach people the value of and the role of the elderly in your congregation, and in our society. Avoid the negative stereotypes of "stuck in their ways," "senile," "unable to learn," "weak," and so on. The media present them this way all the time, but not you.

I hadn't planned on writing this long article but it was on my mind. I am deeply saddened, as I watch funding for elder programs being cut with increasing frequency, idealogies being presented that depict the elderly as being less than human, having little or no purpose, and certainly not worth the billions of dollars we are spending to care for them.
Thank you, for listening to me today, and thank you for helping me to get these kinds of messages out.

What about me?

2007-06-22T15:58:00.000-05:00

Today, for a few moments I sat staring at a picture that hangs in my office. It is an elderly man, face full of wrinkles on a weathered face. At first, I was thinking how I might look at that age, and wondered how I would feel when I looked in a mirror. At that moment, a more chilling thought crossed my mind: "Who will care?"

There is a realization that there is something more devasting than the loss of appearance. It is the loss of relationship. It is the notion of living alone. The devastation of loneliness is underrated and certainly under-reported. We know from pediatric studies that babies must be held and made to feel the presence of their mother.

That need never ends, and is once again magnified in the later part of life. Sadly, the highest suicide rate in the United States falls into the category of men over 85 years of age. How sad that really is. To think that one would successfully live to the age of 85 only to find no one at the end for support. Loneliness kills.

Interviews with older people reveals three needs: Transportation to and from the doctor, To be loved and To have someone to love. These needs are ranked well above such needs as housing, security, food preparation, and so on.

We are not meant to be alone, and particularly at the later stages of life. Once a resident said to me: "To be human is to be loved and needed, and as far as I can tell, I am still human." They were at the time 92 years old.

My hope and prayer is that rather than turn our backs on our older citizens, we will instead embrace them, love them, and support them. I hope and I pray that we can overcome our fear of aging. Help me out? What would be the word for "fear of aging." _______________ phobia.

I took one more look at the old man in the photograph realizing that could be me one day. I hope when that day comes I will not be alone.

All in a name...

2007-05-10T14:13:00.000-05:00

We've been kicking around the idea of changing our name. It seems that the word "ministries" evokes images of bible thumping or prostelytzing or religion or something along those lines. As a result, there may be people who hesitate to fund us as a result. It would be interesting to know what you think. I think that the bigger choking point with Desert Ministries is not the word "ministries" but instead the word "elderly." We can understand spending money on children, building houses, or feeding people, but as one CEO put "...this [elderly] would be at the bottom of our list."

Now be sure, this isn't me with a bunch of sour grapes in my mouth. For the past 15 years I've traveled the country advocating for the elderly to religious groups primarily, and then to anyone else who will listen to me, and I intend to do that for some time to come.

This is simply about getting you over the negative stereotype of aging. Agesim is the prejudice associated with the elderly, and it is just as damaging as any other prejudice. It ultimately results in our elders being marginalized.

Recently, someone remarked to me about an abuse case which resulted in a residents death. They said, "Well, afterall she was 106 years old." So does that mean hurting someone at the age of 106 is less wrong than if they were 20 or 30 years of age.

Then of course there is the world of denial that we all live in, believing that if I ignore the end of life issues some how I will escape them. As far as I know, no one, other than Jesus and maybe Enoch escaped but even then Jesus was dead for some period of time.

Denial is our biggest obstacle. Maybe instead of changing the word Ministries we should change the word Desert. How about Denial Ministries - reaching out to people who live in denial?

When God said, "...plead for the widow," He chose His words well.

2007-05-01T20:33:00.000-05:00

For most, if not all of recorded history, men have successfully denegrated and marginalized the frail elderly. The big sin in the United States is that this devaluation of life is unwittingly endorsed by groups who would claim that they know God, and have a personal relationship with Jesus. In their zeal to capture people at a very young age they then cater solely to the young members of their congregations. In doing so, they have unwittingly given their endorsement to the utilitarian mindset that has saturated our society with the cultural value that our worthiness as humans lies in our capabilities. With this endorsement then comes their passive consent to restricting healtcare for the frail elderly, euthanasia, physician assisted suicide, and even their humanity.

This year thousands of people living in nursing homes will be hurt through neglect and outright abuse, and many will die as a result of their injuries. Who will be prosecuted? Few if any. Who will be a banner for them? A few grass roots groups like DM.

It is discouraging to realize the vast resources at our disposal in this country and yet we cannot take care of our elderly, and most sadly, we do not have the will to care for them. It is not money that we lack, and I don't think we know God as well as we claim. Because if we knew Him, the way we claim, we would say with a fair degree of confidence: "The LORD will destroy the house of the proud: but he will establish the border of the widow." (Proverbs 15:25)

Instead, just as Isaiah wrote several thousand years ago: "Your princes are rebels and companions of thieves; everyone loves bribes and runs after compensation and rewards. They judge not for the fatherless nor defend them, neither does the cause of the widow come to them [for they delay or turn a deaf ear]. (Isaiah 1:23)

And so as Isaiah said so many years ago, I echo the words "...plead for the widow." (Isaiah 1:17).

Why? Because God knows us.

Annual Banquet 2007

2007-02-04T16:34:00.000-06:00

Wow! Last night was just incredible. When I'm making telephone calls and lining up the music, speakers, I really have no idea how it will turn out. I do know that because we have great people associated with the ministry, it will be good, but still who knows what will happen... Anyway, to me it felt like a big warm down-filled comforter.