What about me?

Today, for a few moments I sat staring at a picture that hangs in my office. It is an elderly man, face full of wrinkles on a weathered face. At first, I was thinking how I might look at that age, and wondered how I would feel when I looked in a mirror. At that moment, a more chilling thought crossed my mind: "Who will care?"

There is a realization that there is something more devasting than the loss of appearance. It is the loss of relationship. It is the notion of living alone. The devastation of loneliness is underrated and certainly under-reported. We know from pediatric studies that babies must be held and made to feel the presence of their mother.

That need never ends, and is once again magnified in the later part of life. Sadly, the highest suicide rate in the United States falls into the category of men over 85 years of age. How sad that really is. To think that one would successfully live to the age of 85 only to find no one at the end for support. Loneliness kills.

Interviews with older people reveals three needs: Transportation to and from the doctor, To be loved and To have someone to love. These needs are ranked well above such needs as housing, security, food preparation, and so on.

We are not meant to be alone, and particularly at the later stages of life. Once a resident said to me: "To be human is to be loved and needed, and as far as I can tell, I am still human." They were at the time 92 years old.

My hope and prayer is that rather than turn our backs on our older citizens, we will instead embrace them, love them, and support them. I hope and I pray that we can overcome our fear of aging. Help me out? What would be the word for "fear of aging." _______________ phobia.

I took one more look at the old man in the photograph realizing that could be me one day. I hope when that day comes I will not be alone.